I observed something that happened at 12.50 am. A guy stopped his motorbike, he tried and tried hard to step on the engine, it doesn't work so he gave up trying after 5minutes. He needed a tool to fix his bike but he didn't have it. He tried flagging for vehicles to stop, because he wana borrow the tool. None stopped, all drove past looking at him. 2 taxis stopped, he asked for the tool. Both uncles say "no". I wasn't sure if it was seriously they didn't have it or they just did't want to lend because you don't expect taxi driver to wait for him to repair his bike while taxi uncles lose customers. That was my assumption. Then, I saw a police car, we thought there was hope. But no, they stopped a lane away from him and asked what he wanted, he asked and police guys didn't have it either. Time past. It was already 1.05am. He kept calling for help but no friends were near his area. We were waiting for hope. Finally, a young man stopped. He has the tool. He lend the guy. He is riding a motorbike too. And then I started to wonder.. Why did he help?
And I thought of a helping theory: prosocial behaviour in which is an action that provides benefit to other people which is the guy needed the tool to repair his bike. And I remembered there are 4 caterogies of helping behaviours (McGuire, 1994) e.g. casual helping; emergency helping; substantial personal helping; and emotional helping. Each of these 4 types of helping behaviour can applies to family, friends, & strangers.
The 2 guys are strangers but they have 1 thing in common. They both ride motorbikes. I seriously believe the young man who helped was a kind person, with an altrusitic motivation for helping purely of providing benefit to another person. He didn't mind getting his hands dirty to fix the bike, with whatever little knowledge he has on fixing, he even helped stepping on the engine to see if it works with every turns they twist with the screws. He offered suggestions and waited patiently while the guy fix his bike.
There are definitely a couple of factors influencing helping (textbook pg 486), but I didn't want to judge him. I believe he is a good person. Firstly - it's 1am in the morning and he stopped to ask how can he help? Secondly - He offered the tool and get his hands dirty fixing a stranger's bike. Thirdly - he waited patiently despite the time flew past for about half an hour.
It was around 1.40am that I heard the engine roared with life and power. Lol. The young man watched the guy leave before he rode on his own bike. It was this young man that make me realize there is someone that exist in this world is purely helpful and kind, with a pure heart to help someone in need whether the person rode a car, bus, van, or motorbike.
The young man become my role model. =)
6 comments:
erm... a motorbike's make-up is different from a car.. though I'm not sure about the tool you are talking about which the poor men needs.
However, the way which you describe the incident about a few cars did stop by and couldn't supply the biker's tool. It could be because the tool the biker needs is not found in what a normal car driver will bring around as they might not need it at all. Or another perceptive could be not every driver/biker in our country brings around their toolbox in their cars/motobike. So it wouldn't be a surprise if most couldn't help this poor biker in this case.
Also, the thrid perceptive could be your view that most are not helpful. However, as this came ideal came across to you then could be because your mind came to the theory when it was taught in class and could be a coincidence too.
;>
buaysenger has a point, but even if one did not have the means to assist this man by lending him the appopriate tools, the least they could have done after stopping and finding out what his situation was was to fetch help, help call the nearest garage or even go with the man to pick up the appopriate tools. One cannot just give up when the most obvious means of helping aren't there, slightly off topic but I think people tend to give up too easily when they see the most obvious solution isn't in sight and all of a sudden, they are at a loss of what to do because they spent 'so much energy and time' out of 'the goodness of their hearts' to see what a complete stranger's problem was; so then they give up because they've 'done so much' already. =/
I understand that car and motorbike tools could be different. I didn't thought of that. But after lending his tool to the poor guy, he didn't have to help repairing the bike & get his hands dirty. He offered, noone point a gun at him. He could just have waited and do something else.
The poor guy didn't gave up, he flagged till someone stopped. He called his friends on the mobile but none was near. I just appreciate the fact that the young man came and helped. And I just hope everyone could do a bit to help out whenever someone in need.
i know exactly what you mean.i used to be tricked into things when i was younger so i;ve learned to be more careful with how i ask and answer questions out to me.
concering the low-ball technique, last week i was supposed to meet a friend after weeks of not seeing her.we agreed to meet during the week. she asked if we could meet monday but since she asked me only on monday i already had plans, so she asked me if we could meet tuesday. tuesdays i have classes all day and then i go for quiz night on boat quay which would give me a 2 hr break in between. i knew i'd be rushing that day but i felt bad that i rejected her request on monday already so i gave in and was not looking forward to my tuesday.
i guess it worked on me :-)
Actually, I felt that those in the cars who turned and looked had little or no intention to help at all. Probably, the usual kpo-ness in us, Singaporeans. If I were in the drivers' shoes, and if I were keen on helping, I'd have at least stopped and asked.
And for the only TWO who stopped, they were taxi drivers. Well, in the case of a breakdown, seems like the owner would abandon the vehicle and call the tow company (probably the instinctive thought of many) and take a cab home. Given the late hour, this is even more possible. It's not surprising if the taxi drivers thought, (ooh!)here comes business when really, it's not their business afterall. (Haa!)
One would normally assume in a busy city such as in Singapore, people rarely stop and help one another. I mean, we read about discourteous people in the newspapers. I remember there was this article about an old man who had chest pains or something in the middle of Orchard Rd and people just walked past him. Unbelievable right? Perhaps, our helping behaviours reflect the way we were socialized as children?
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