Helping someone??

I observed something that happened at 12.50 am. A guy stopped his motorbike, he tried and tried hard to step on the engine, it doesn't work so he gave up trying after 5minutes. He needed a tool to fix his bike but he didn't have it. He tried flagging for vehicles to stop, because he wana borrow the tool. None stopped, all drove past looking at him. 2 taxis stopped, he asked for the tool. Both uncles say "no". I wasn't sure if it was seriously they didn't have it or they just did't want to lend because you don't expect taxi driver to wait for him to repair his bike while taxi uncles lose customers. That was my assumption. Then, I saw a police car, we thought there was hope. But no, they stopped a lane away from him and asked what he wanted, he asked and police guys didn't have it either. Time past. It was already 1.05am. He kept calling for help but no friends were near his area. We were waiting for hope. Finally, a young man stopped. He has the tool. He lend the guy. He is riding a motorbike too. And then I started to wonder.. Why did he help?

And I thought of a helping theory: prosocial behaviour in which is an action that provides benefit to other people which is the guy needed the tool to repair his bike. And I remembered there are 4 caterogies of helping behaviours (McGuire, 1994) e.g. casual helping; emergency helping; substantial personal helping; and emotional helping. Each of these 4 types of helping behaviour can applies to family, friends, & strangers.

The 2 guys are strangers but they have 1 thing in common. They both ride motorbikes. I seriously believe the young man who helped was a kind person, with an altrusitic motivation for helping purely of providing benefit to another person. He didn't mind getting his hands dirty to fix the bike, with whatever little knowledge he has on fixing, he even helped stepping on the engine to see if it works with every turns they twist with the screws. He offered suggestions and waited patiently while the guy fix his bike.

There are definitely a couple of factors influencing helping (textbook pg 486), but I didn't want to judge him. I believe he is a good person. Firstly - it's 1am in the morning and he stopped to ask how can he help? Secondly - He offered the tool and get his hands dirty fixing a stranger's bike. Thirdly - he waited patiently despite the time flew past for about half an hour.

It was around 1.40am that I heard the engine roared with life and power. Lol. The young man watched the guy leave before he rode on his own bike. It was this young man that make me realize there is someone that exist in this world is purely helpful and kind, with a pure heart to help someone in need whether the person rode a car, bus, van, or motorbike.

The young man become my role model. =)

Low-ball technique

A week ago, a friend called and say: "will you help me, I need help"? My reply was: "ya sure, what's the matter"? I say yes to him because (1) he is my friend and (2) I thought it was just minor relationship problem. Because he does called me in the past for minor issues regarding his quarrel with his buddies or his colleagues at work.

Then he say: "help me move house this Saturday, ok"? I was so stunned because I didn't expect such a huge request from him, so I was silent for a minute while he continue to explain about his best buddy couldn't offer to help, blah blah.. And the back of my head, I was thinking of rejecting him but I thought about the earlier response I gave him that I will help him. I wanted to be consistent with my initial decision which was saying yes.

This remind me of low-ball technique where I desire for consistency and fear that I will be inconsistent if I do not carry out my decision. Low-ball technique is a strategy to increase compliance, in which firstly asking for a commitment and then increasing its cost. My commitment maintained because I wanted to keep a positive self-representation and obligation to help my friend.

Well, in the end, I did helped him move house. And I invited my girlfriend along because I didn't want to be alone (the only girl helping him except his mom). Although its was really tired but I had a great exercise. =)

Cognitive Dissonance Theory

Leon Festinger (1957) proposed cognitive dissonance theory which describes an uncomfortable feeling we experience when our actions and beliefs are contradictory. He defined cognition as a belief or simply bits of knowledge. They can pertain to any variety of thoughts, values, facts, or emotions. For example: "I'm a girl," "I jog twice a week" & "I love to eat all sorts of chocolates."

Most cognitions have nothing to do with each other. For instance, the three cognitions mentioned above are unrelated. However I can say I love dark chocolates because I believed it have redeeming heart-healthy virtues. These cognition are "consonant," meaning that they are related and that one follows from the other.

However, sometimes we have cognition that are inconsistent with one another. For instance, I love to eat all sorts of chocolates, but I am also trying to lose weight. These two thoughts are problematic -- if I eat chocolates, then I may gain weight, and if I really want to lose weight then I cannot eat chocolates. These types of cognition are referred to as "dissonant."

There are 2 beneficial ways to attempt to overcome my cognitive dissonance. One is by ignoring or eliminating the dissonant cognition. By pretending that chocolates is not bad for me, I can have my ice cream and eat it too, so to speak. Ignoring the dissonant cognition allows me to do things we might otherwise view as wrong or inappropriate.

Another way is adding or creating new cognition. I can overwhelm the fact that I know some chocolates are bad for my weight loss except for dark chocolates. Research in fact have shown that dark chocolate have benefits such as it can improve heart health, blood pressure, reduce LDL "bad" cholesterol, and increase blood flow to the brain. It may also improve blood sugar and insulin sensitivity, reducing diabetes risk. These new cognitions allow for the lessening of dissonance, as I now have multiple cognitions that say dark chocolate can be part of my healthy lifestyle.

Of course, I will limit the portion size because even though dark chocolate contains good-for-you flavonoids, it also has not-so-good-for-you fat, sugar, and calories. Overindulging in chocolate can undo any health benefits and lead to weight gain and related health problems. In order to prevent weight gain to happen, I will exercise. =)

Chocolate's Dark Secret From religious elixir to lover's treat to health food? The new truth about chocolate.
By Kathleen M. Zelman, MPH, RD, LD WebMD Feature - http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/modern-love-8/chocolate-answers

http://www.webmd.com/video/truth-about-chocolate - Dark Chocolate: Heart-Healthy Benefits