In Social Perception: what others see in us - self presentation is the deliberate control of our public behaviour to create a certain impression as cited in social psychology alive textbook. It is similar to people who portray different faces and emotions in life to hide their true feelings.
I smiled even though I had bad hair day in the morning and the bus broke down two stops away from the school and I had to walk. I remain cheerful and greeted everyone in school because I did not want my faces and emotions of grumpiness and frustration affect the people around me. I laughed because the jokes are funny and also because I do not want others to think I have no tickling bone in me.
I hid my negative emotions because I felt it does affect my friend's attitudes towards me. When I showed grumpiness on my face, they stayed away from me. I realized when I portrayed a cheerful, soft and smiling face; they talked to me and stayed close to me.
Will others change their impression on me if I continue hiding my real faces and emotions? Is there a need to show others my real self?
Is there a difference between a fake face + happy or a real face + grumpy = Impression?
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4 comments:
I have experienced what yoou have described before. However, sometimes it's just too hard to put on a happy face and I really cannot help it.
When I read your blog, I was thinking about the saying that the very act of smiling will make you feel happier. When you did put on a happy face even though you were feeling down, did it make you feel any better?
Hmm.. Of course sometimes the fake smile doesn't make me happy at all because i'm putting up a fake pretence infront of ppl. but somehow, after doing it so many times, i got used to pretending to smile because i will automatically present a genuine smile after an hr or so because i have friends like you to cheer me up. =)
I so agree with that - the very act of smiling will make you happier.
Seriously, what happens when you cease to smile? When all you wear on face is make-up and the only things which grin from ear-to-ear on you, are your earrings?
Though, I agree that while smiling is rejuvenating, it can also be sometimes concealing, deceiving and mocking.
Anyway, drowning yourself in solace unhappiness is not going to bring you to higher heights of happiness but deeper depths of unhappiness.
I used to do that too; keeping to myself and having an expression which shouts back-off to everybody else. Worse, listen to highly emotional levels as though 2 negatives would give me a positive. Never seem to work that way.
Besides, even if we can read expressions, we do not read minds. So ultimately, if smiling takes too much effort, tell someone about your problems. :)
True friends will accept who you really are and not judge you just because you had a bad day. Let's face it, the mood and attitude of every person do have four seasons too. It's impossible for everyone to always have the spirit of summer.
But the difference between a negative and positive person would be the rate of recovery when he or she encounters a slight hiccup or when things don't go his way.
I do agree that people always like to be with others who are positive, upbeat and cheerful but it definitely has to come out from your heart. It will not help no matter how much you act in front of your peers, especially when your mindset and your expression don’t go in sync.
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